The Harry Potter Show
by lupinsgrl
Summary: R&R PLEASE! if you do i may continue this!oh yeah
1. Ch1 brings in snape pt 1

A/n: hello, this is my second fanfic oh ya!!!!!!!!!!! *dances* yeah.. *sings* BLAOW!  
  
Disclaimer: I would like to own harry potter characters...very much so...*grins mischeiviously*  
*kidnaps hermione, ron, and harry* hehehhe  
  
Claimer: I may not rightfully own harry potter characters but I do own myself.as a matter of fact. well...at least I thought I did _ *blinks* WAIT! I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT!!! OH NO! I DON'T OWN MYSELF! SOMEONE ELSE DOES! AHH! I COULD BE TYPING RIGHT NOW AND NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF--*says little man controlling britney "while, I make the author look.insane, please enjoy the harry potter show! Curtosy of britney herself, not me "*  
  
THE HARRY POTTER SHOW! By britney  
  
~* This show is hosted by me, Britney Cooper,who cannot control my actions. *sigh* ..*~  
  
Britney (yes yes the author): HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE HARRY POTTER SHOW! Today's show will be ....*mumbles to brother*drumroll please*brother isnt here* JOHN!!!!!! WHERE IS DAVID! HE IS MY DRUMROLL PERSON!!! Well there wont be a drumroll, sorry folks! But today's show will be in my bathroom!  
  
Audience: *claps* YAY BRITNEY!  
  
Britney: thank you, thank you! I know you love me!  
  
Audience: *is still clapping*  
  
Britney: *sounds annoyed* yes yes you can stop now--*is errupted by more clapping* STOP!  
  
Audience: *blinks*  
  
Britney: *mutters* thank you...well, anyway today's guest..right.todays guest will be...the one.the only..*pokes lip* SNAPE!!!!  
  
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Britney: Yes, not my ideal guest either.we don't have enough veiwers for harry.or ron..man, we're flat broke arent we? Well, at least we can ask snape why he puts so much hair grease.into his hair...  
  
Audience: *nods* *grins*  
  
Britney: OKAY FELLAS! Bring 'em out!  
  
~ Three big muscular men come enter bathroom carrying Snape ~  
  
...:::::at this time all readers should proceed to chapter two to hear the rest of the interveiw:::..THANK YOU 


	2. CH2 brings in snape pt 2

Snape: *looking upset* where am I?!!??!! Why have you brought me here! IM NOT A DEATH EATER I SWEA--- wait a minute.this looks like a toilet to me..wait ! it looks like my toilet! It has a pot, bathtub, and a sink!  
  
Britney: Welcome to the Harry Potter Show! You *ahem* must be *clears throat* snape! And.this is my bathroom!  
  
Snape: *stares at britney* What are you doing in my toilet?!?!! I obviously came in here to do my buisiness, you have no right to be in here...EIGHTY FIVE HUNDRED POINTS AND A HALF FROM GRYFFINDOR!!!  
  
Britney: WHY I NEVER! Oh wait.Snape, this is not your bathroom as I have told you and I don't even attend hogwarts! In fact, I might be in hufflepuff if I did go.  
  
Snape: *glares* so! I just want to take points *spits* from that awful popular *spits* POTTER *spits*.. *runs to medicine cabinet* where is my hair oil?!?!? YOU TOOK MY HAI-  
  
Britney: *sigh* no I am sorry I did not in fact steal your hair grease..listen, you are on a show called the harry potter show, and you are the guest! If you do not understand please say so..NOW! *jumps at snape*  
  
Snape: (dispite being tackled by Britney) Harry Potter Show??? Goodness..*mutters* he has his own show..must be the star..why am I never the star..i want a show...darn you potter *spits*! *stops muttering* Well then britney, what do you want???  
  
Audience: Hello Snape!!! *claps*  
  
Snape: *looks into bathtub* oink! There's muggles down there!  
  
Audience: *throws rotten fruit stowed away in drain at Snape*  
  
Britney: *eats carrot* mmmmm...well okay Snape I brought you here to ask you some questions!  
  
Snape: you have, have you? What kind of questions? Whatever you've heard isnt true! I never-  
  
Britney: okay snape, pick a member of the audience who raises his hand can you handle that?  
  
Snape: -- and I never in my life have tipped a cow..with my bare hands.*twitches*  
  
Britney: okay snape pick!  
  
~* drum rolls *~  
  
Snape : *sweats nervously * um.you..no wait..you..uh.AHH *points*  
  
~* dude named evan comes up *~  
  
Britney: Hello evan! Now, snape tell us why you picked Evan!  
  
Snape: _ um..I.um..i..*falls over*  
  
Evan: *nods smilingly* Lyke, dude! I lyke didn't lyke know Snape.lyke fell over. I mean..you'd think he'd like slip on his head or something.I mean lyke.ya  
  
Britney: um.riiight. *dunks snape in toilet* now evan, ask snape you're question.  
  
Evan: uh..could you like.repeat that..for lyke.me.*drools*  
  
Britney: NOW LIKE EVAN LIKE ASK LIKE SNAPE YOU'RE LIKE QUESTION  
  
Evan: *nods* knarly dude....okay now snapey mahn! I have a like question.like.yeah..like.like okay! Why *reads crumbled piece of paper* ahem, why.do.you.put.so.much.hair..greeeee.greeeeay..greaassy..oh! grease..in.your.hair.question mark *smiles*  
  
Snape: Why did you dunk me in the potty? It doesn't taste good. *recalls memory of james potter dunking him in toilet* *shudders* oh yes your question..well it makes my hair nice and shiny.like a shiny black mans suit! (thank you chelsea) I like shiny things..*manages to hug hair*  
  
Evan: cool.meeeeee too! I like to like grease or like wax my like surf like board like every like day like so like I could like ...make it like shiny and stuff..do you like eggs? Britney: okay evan enough for you! Snape pick another person!  
  
Snape: first, I have a couple of questions for you..if I answer these questions can I go? Why did you dunk me in the potty? WHERE IS MY HAIR GREASE-  
  
Britney: Snape, pick now..then you may go.  
  
Snape: oink! The little blondie in the corner *points*  
  
~* Girl named Zoe climbs out of bathtub *~  
  
Zoe: *in preppy voice* HEY! I'm zo-ay! And I have a question for you!!!!  
  
Britney: *is asleep* monkeys..took my jacket.zzzzzz  
  
Snape: *walks away*  
  
Zoe: *pouts* why did he leave?!?!? *pokes Britney* WAKE UP!  
  
Britney: *jerks awake* what?! Huh?!  
  
Zoe: Snape left! *sobs* he didn't answer my question..  
  
Britney: OH NO! TROY, ROY, FOY GET OVER HERE NOW!  
  
~* three muscular men appear*~  
  
Britney: go find snape!NOOOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~*~ couple minutes later ~*~  
  
Snape: I THOUGHT I COULD GO!  
  
Britney: you need to spin the wheel of ..wonder first!  
  
*wheel of wonder pops out of toilet*  
  
Britney: and the choices today are: Makeover magic!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
Britney: Defense against dark arts position!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
Snape: *drools* Britney: And... A ROCK THE SHAPE OF DUMBLEDORES HEAD!!!!  
  
Audience: *cricket chirps*  
  
Britney: Now Snape, SPIN!  
  
Snape : w-w-w-wha??? *leans on wheel* hmph.look it spins.preeetty...  
  
*wheel lands on makeover magic*  
  
Britney: Snape! Tell us what you've won!  
  
Snape: c-c-cigam r-r-e-e-voekam  
  
Britney: *whispers to snape*  
  
Snape: OH! Makeover magic.*grins confusedly*  
  
Britney: that's right! A free makeover given by ME and our other stylists here in the bathroom!  
  
Audience: yay!  
  
Snape: oh joy.. *growls*  
  
Britney: Now, snape we will expect you back on the show a little later, to show everyone how we changed your life!  
  
Snape: can I go now????  
  
Britney: Yes, yes..if you must..  
  
*snape leaves*  
  
Britney: okay everyone that just about finishes our show!!! Stay tuned in later for another episode of..  
  
Evan: THE LIKE HARRY POTTER SHOW DUDE!  
  
Britney: *smiles* yes.thank you evan...GOODBYE! *waves*  
  
Audience: *waves*  
  
*~*(After Show)*~*  
  
Dad: Britney *jumps* sweetheart.are you done in there yet..i really need to go..*Falls over*  
  
Britney: yes father hold on!  
  
Mom: SWEETIE PUMPKIN! HOW LONG EXACTLY DOES IT TAKE YOU TO USE THE POTTY?!?!?!?!? I NEED TO GO REALLY BAD...!  
  
*britney leaves*  
  
Mom: MEEEEE FIRST!!!!!!! *runs into bathroom*  
  
Dad: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs into bathroom also*  
  
*mom and dad are both stuck in door frame*  
  
THE END  
  
A/n: please please read and review!!!!!!! If you don't, I wont keep doing the harry potter show.if I get enough reveiws, I might keep going until I invite harry potter and stuff like that please please please!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. POTC & lockhart pt 1

A/n: no reviews.man... you guys stink..i would rite more often if you would only review me!  
  
Disclaimer: *sigh* still don't own any of the HP characters..well.rightfully own *evil laughter*..heheheh..*banging around in closet."LET US OUT"*  
  
Claimer: well...*little man in Britney's head "Toppa the mornin to ya dudes.I still own Britney..little does she know .. BLAOW!"*  
  
THE HARRY POTTER SHOW!!!!!!!!  
  
*Britney walks into wall*  
  
Britney: OUCH! You stupid wall! You arent supposed to be right there!!!!! Ahhhh!!! *runs around frantically* I need to get ready for the show! EEP! *pokes lip*  
  
John (manager): Britney, it might be a good idea to get ready for the show now..i mean it starts in like 10 minutes.. *bounces back to britney's room*  
  
Britney: *blank stare*  
  
.::::::Readers are advised to take any bathroom or snack breaks now, this will be an action packed show O_o::::::::...  
  
...:::::::::Readers are NOW advised to come back from any bathroom or snack breaks, because the show is about to start.If you aren't here we'll just have to start without you.your loss:::::::...  
  
*big shiny sign that says "THE HARRY POTTER SHOW!!!' drops down*  
  
Britney: *munches on bag of chips* mm..mmmmmm.good chips *crunch crunch* *sees camera* *hides chips* WELCOME TO THE HARRY POTTER SHOW!!!  
  
Audience: *clap clap* YAY HARRY POTTER!!! *jumps into bush*  
  
Britney: Thank you thank you..well..go on keep clapping..  
  
Audience: *jumps out of bush claps once then jumps back in* Britney: Well..i thought you loved me *sobs*  
  
Audience: *sticks tounges out* bluh  
  
Britney: oh okay ..I see how it is..todays *sniff* show is in *sniff sniff* .. I mean on a pirate ship. Yay *snniff*  
  
Audience: *claps* yayayyayayay!!! GO BRITNEY!  
  
Britney: *smiling* yeah.cool huh.and today's guest.. PROFFESSOR GUILDEROY LOCKHART!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*girls enter audience*  
  
Girls: *scream* WEE LOOVE YOU LOCKHART!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO HANSOME WE READ YOUR BOOKS FIVE TIMEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*three large muscular men enter ship carrying Lockhart*  
  
Britney: wait a minute..how is a bush on a ship??? This is like against the laws of...physics? hmph..  
  
*bush dissappears*  
  
Audience: BUT WE NEED SOME KIND OF PROTECTION FROM THAT DARK BLACK-ISH PIRATE SHIP OVER THERE!!!! *jumps overboard*  
  
*only girls are left on board*  
  
Britney: what pi-- *sees large old looking pirate ship*  
  
Lockhart: HELLO! _ OH NO! I SPY A SHIP! *jumps aboard big ship*  
  
~* Will Britney retrieve her audience? Is lockhart going to survive the pirates? You'll see after this commercial break *~  
  
CHUNKY OATS ARE FUN TO EAT! THEY ARE GREAT LIKE MAGICAL ME! *lockhart smiles*  
  
CHUNKY!!!!!!!!  
  
~* And now back to the HARRY POTTER SHOW!!! *~  
  
Britney: *screams in fear of being alone*  
  
Girls: *jump onto pirate ship with lockhart* Britney: oh no!!!!! what do I do?!??! *runs around frantically*  
  
~* Meanwhile *~  
  
Lockhart: Hello, fellow sailors! You may know me as the author of Magical Me!  
  
Girls : *scream* WE READ THAT ONE!  
  
Pirates: *blank stare*  
  
Lockhart: *takes out wand* hahhaha tell me of your adventures please.or I will wand slice you! *waves wand*  
  
Pirates: *are from LA* oy! Looks like he's tryin' some o' that voodoo stuff on us! MAKE IM WALK THE PLANK!  
  
*Jack sparrow enters scene*  
  
Sparrow: OY! Before we kill im, why not raid his ship?  
  
Pirates: GOOD THINKIN SPARROW!  
  
*pirates climb aboard Britney's ship*  
  
Britney: omg omg omg! ITS JOHNNY DEPP!!!! I am the host of the HA-  
  
Sparrow: I AM NOT JOHNNY DEPP!!!!! I AM CAP'N JACK SPARROW AND I AM RAIDING YOUR SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Britney: im the host of a talk show, called the Harry Potter Show..you know the book.. Can you maybe sit down so I can interveiw you and your crew?  
  
Sparrow: OKAY!  
  
*audience jumps out of ocean looking half..wet..*  
  
Audience: YAY! JOHNNY DEPP!  
  
Sparrow: *growls*  
  
..::::::Readers at this point are to continue to chapter four, to read the interview.::::.. 


End file.
